Coming together for mental health and wellbeing

K (for the purpose of privacy) has been living with us at Drymmau Hall since 2022 when he chose to make it his home following the death of his wife. K is eager to share his story as he knows there are many men such as himself who, after a long and loving marriage, find it difficult to cope – and to share their feelings.

This is K’s story.

After fifty-five years married, when his wife died, K openly says that he couldn’t manage on his own. In his words he “didn’t want to see anyone” and it was “hard to get motivated, mentally or physically.” He was “empty” and “down.”

Now, after four years at Drymmau Hall, the grief and the “little voice in his head that he has to try and overcome” have not gone away completely, of course, but there are chinks of light, and more good days than bad.

And this positive direction has not come without K putting in the work for his own mental health and wellbeing and these days, on behalf of others who might be suffering from similar mental health challenges, depression and loneliness as he does.

Despite the challenges, K points to his faith as being important to him, his love of music, and his personal research into how he can help himself (and others) to feel better.

In his online research he has been using the practice of mindfulness to help him live in the moment. His research is meticulous, his findings printed out and filed in plastic wallets ready to share.

He came to the realisation that there “wasn’t enough out there” in the community to support men like him, sometimes uncomfortable with chatting about their particular problems, and sharing their feelings. And so, he decided to take the challenge into his own hands.

In conversation with Leila, our activities coordinator at Drymmau Hall, he suggested that he’d like to get people together to do the activities they are able to do, and at the same time have a good old chat and express what might be bottled up.

Board games such as dominoes were bought, packs of playing cards purchased, and horse-racing games for television as the catalyst to get the weekly group going.

At Drymmau, our purpose-built coffee shop provided the ideal atmosphere for the group. With its cutting-edge coffee facilities, comfortable armchairs, and intimate set up, it is proving a great hit with people at Drymmau and week by week the numbers are growing.

K’s idea has created this new informal and sharing context around coffee, biscuits and games, where people are opening up about how they feel. He points to R, another resident at Drymmau Hall, who is delighted to be talking about his feelings and how the new group allows him to get to know, really know, people like him who are experiencing the same things as he is.

By initiating this group dedicated to improving mental health and well-being, K feels that his own mental health is improving, partly down to the shared experience, and also down to the sense of achievement that he is helping other people. Gratitude and friendship he says, is a good combination!

He is happy that there is so much interest in the group, that welcomes new members (with no pressure to attend) as and when they feel like. He sums it up quite simply as, “life feels so much better when you’re not on your own. It’s great to have a laugh, a banter, a joke, some fun.”

We are especially delighted that he is the catalyst to getting men talking more when historically, for a variety of reasons, they have been reticent to open up.

K is an example of great initiative and the added scope of activities that are constantly evolving at Drymmau Hall. We can’t thank him enough for getting this group into motion!