Decisions Decisions Decisions

J (for the purpose of privacy) is one of our extended family here at Drymmau Hall. She made the decision to come into our care as a permanent resident in 2022. That decision wasn’t an easy one for her as it isn’t for so many people like her who have all the dilemmas and deliberations of making that move to finally relinquish their own home and make a new one.

This is J’s story.

J’s husband sadly died in 2010 when she was left alone (apart from her dog, Ffion) to live – and manage – a large, three-storey house in Neath Abbey, not far away from Drymmau Hall. J being J, a stoic and independent woman, she battled on.

Down the years, she used to take Ffion to a dog groomer, the owner of which, Sonja, became a close and caring friend who was to play a big part in J’s journey from Neath Abbey to Drymmau Hall.

Sadly, J suffered another loss in 2018 when her four-legged companion died. But Sonja came to the rescue and gifted J a new ten-month dog called Quentin. ‘He’s yours’ said Sonja to J who was lifted in spirits by the dog and the kindness. Nevertheless, time was ticking, and J was still weighed down with the increasing responsibility of a large house, and without her family which was living far away.

Life for J took a turn for the worse when COVID struck and she was even more isolated and became ill, collapsing with a UTI, only to be rescued by her then close friend, Sonja. Hospitalisation followed and then she herself caught COVID and was very ill, suffering clots in her lungs and being in and out of hospital three times.

Sonja was on the case, and having first-hand knowledge of the excellent reputation of Drymmau Hall, recommended that J have emergency respite there. Reluctantly, J agreed. “Even though they got me on my feet,” says J, “I was ungrateful. I didn’t want to relinquish my home.” And when she thought she was ready, J went back to Neath Abbey.

But for J, like many people in failing health, the physical and emotional toll was increasing, but it was still hard to let go. Change is difficult. Sometimes overwhelming. And then J was hospitalised again and the bells stared ringing.

During this time, Sonja and J’s son, Gordon, and his family were welcomed into Drymmau Hall to have an in-depth discussion with the Valler family, who own and run the home, and a good look around to see if the home could be a good fit to J and her particular care needs, as well as allowing her to maintain her independence. And offering not only J, but her dog, Quentin, a new home. As J says, “Take me, take my dog!”

When J came out of hospital in 2022, “it finally dawned on her” that she could no longer manage. Things happened fast then and J’s family cleared and sold her house, sorted the financial aspects of the transition to Drymmau Hall, and J moved in!

Looking back, J says that “it made me feel better – all my cares were taken away and life made easy for me. I’m free as a bird without any shackles.”

Today, J has room 18 at Drymmau Hall, a large room with an annexe, which is home to her and Quentin. She loves the aspect of the room, overlooking the garden, and the fact that she has so much space to house her considerable wardrobe. 

Life is good now. She points to the “lovely, caring nurses who look after every need”, to the fact that she has the freedom to get up when she likes, have her lunch in her room if she chooses and watch Bargain Hunt, to listen to Radio Wales, and importantly, to get her 10,000 steps a day in with Quentin in the freedom of the glorious grounds at Drymmau Hall.

As she states firmly, “I’m going to live my life here as I would at home. It is common sense – and Drymmau Hall gives me the freedom to do that in a safe environment.”

J’s story typifies the story of so many people considering where ‘home’ should be for the next part of life’s journey. J’s story has a happy ever after ending and is shared to help others who are facing decisions similar to hers.

If you are at a stage where you need to make decisions about your, or a loved-one’s, future care needs, we welcome you to visit us at Drymmau Hall to have a look around and to ask any questions you might have about this important choice.